Does it matter?

27 Sep

I received a text from my ex-crush just now.

I replied telling him I saw our “oldies” text just now and how LOL it was etc.

Later on he called and we talked for awhile.

He used to be the reason for me being alive. For him, with his encouragement, I could top my subjects/studies.

He was in Aussie then, so I frequently called to Aussie..

Finally he came back SG, we met up..

He had someone in mind… I got to know it at a later date though..

I started to change my behaviour, I wanted revenge, I wanted him to regret…

Everything was I, everything was one sided, me, myself & I…

At some point of time in life, I hate him…

I didn’t even wanted to say hi to him, when I saw him one day…

So many years later… 7 years to be exact..

He called me, he wasn’t the rebellious boy already..

Actually he’s very matured for him age, even when I knew him back then, he’s already like this..

Today… He told me he had a fiancée already, he’s engaged 🙂

I felt happy for him, genuinely, I even asked him to invite me for his wedding:)

All the whatever shit, doesn’t matter anymore.

To be friends, its already fate. There’s nothing much in life to ask for already..

Again, true enough…

Today I was on my way to phoenix garden, some ulu ulu place..

Goodness gracious… The place was so scary after 7pm, FML..

I was walking and searching for somebody’s house, there’s no one in sight at the long long fat fat road… and it was uphill… so .. I climb and climb, sweat and sweat.. The whole road was so eerie… even the “small drains”between the houses seemed so haunted…

There were trees and forest around the whole ulu thing… I took about 30mins to walk and walk… asthma and asthma… ventolin and ventolin… SERIOUSLY FML..

I walked to a dead end, the dead end was real scary..

It was 10x scarier than this… the trees were “forest like”… there were dogs barking all over.. I was all alone walking… searching for a never ending place..

I even saw a “sealed road”… SO FREAKING EERIE…

I started crying… uncontrollably… I felt like a weakling… an idiot.. I thought I’ve seen it all, I’ve been everywhere alone, its only me and myself to depend on.. only I can help myself.. T_T

I cry and cry and was mumbling… “Ken, why didn’t you come and save me? ” …

Seriously at that point, then I realised, I’m not angry with him any more.. In fact, I guess I won’t be angry at him for long anws..

Obviously this someone meant alot to me.. To all the small things..

Does it really matter?

Tell him/her now 🙂 

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